Authenticity vs Performativity

When you show up, are you doing so as your whole, honest self, or are there things you hold back, things you hide. Is it really all for show?

For some, there is safety in performing, in playing a role, rather than being yourself. For others it is extremely difficult to be inauthentic, even for someone else’s benefit. As much as you try to keep up an appearance, the truth leaks out and you are exposed.

While many autistic people mask with others, the truth is we would all rather be our authentic selves more often. However, over time, we have been conditioned to feel like we will never be accepted for who we are, and just like everyone else, we have an overwhelming need to feel like we belong. As hard as it is, it is sometimes easier to avoid confrontation and simply take on the traits that are complementary to those you are with.

I have been at this practice so long, trying to do what others think is right, trying to “play the game” the way others expect, trying to make everyone else comfortable, that I almost don’t know who my authentic self is anymore. So I explore here. And share with you what is in my mind and my heart.

Here’s to finding out who you really are and finding your tribe of weirdos who will accept you no matter what.

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