I just watched a news story about America’s declining birth rate. As is custom for the PBS NewsHour, the story was geared toward demography, data, and overarching context with a sprinkling of personal anecdote. Here’s my take.

Birthrate are declining in this country; that’s an inarguable fact. The reasons for this, however, are varied, nuanced and unlikely to fit into any specific news program.

Nobody has ever asked me about why I don’t have children… I’m certain anyone who knows me would know that question would be inappropriate. But in all honesty, if it hadn’t been for my late-identification of autism, I might have been more prepared to have a family.

But as it actually happened, in real time, my husband and I decided not to have a family beyond us and our dogs. I won’t get into the details… they are complex and nuanced, as you might imagine. Suffice it to say, we are among those childless olds that others would deem “selfish” or worse for our choices.

The frustrating part for me is the political angle as this decision has now become a real political issue, with the right wing trying to divide and conquer the left by drawing lines between those with and without biological children of their own. All I wanna say about that is that J.D. Vance can go fuck himself if he thinks I should actually have less of a say because I don’t have my own children. The fact is, I think of all children as my responsibility, as far as leaving a legacy and making sure they are better off than I am now. Apparently, he is only concerned about the survival of his own children. #weird

It is true that some people require the process of becoming parents to feel the compulsion to leave the world better than they found it. Others of us are simply born that way; procreation not required.

Personally, I appreciate the concept that we are looking at a social and economic challenge coming up if and when the birthrate falls, but I honestly don’t believe it isn’t a challenge that we wouldn’t have to face anyway, regardless. We already needed to find a new solution to social security because the “trust fund” has been depleted and we clearly cannot expect the next generation to continue financing the retirement of the olds. It was never sustainable without growth and therefore, it is not sustainable, period. Growth is unsustainable.

So that gets me back to kids. The animal will to procreate is strong. The intelligence of homo sapiens coupled with the visible and epic barriers to building a family of your desires has prevented many from doing so.

First, there’s the cost. We have no guaranteed health care in this country, no guaranteed time off for maternity/paternity leave, no expectation of affordable child care. If one were a rational being, they would have to be earning at least a low 6-figures number in salary to even consider being able to afford a single child, much less multiple children, in any American city. I’m sure the number in rural areas might be lower, but not by much. Either way, you are looking at a below

The people who are responsible people, who live within their means, and who are not dead set on having children, but would rather make a mindful decision are those who will be most affected by the financial limitations. Others may want children desperately, but are looking at the future, 50 years out, and wonder what will be left for their kids when they grow up.

I have no doubt that human ingenuity has a chance against climate change and other environmental issues, but how much of a chance depends on the day.

The pro-natalists in the world don’t actually think much about the future. They seem to think that if we all just have kids, the world will be better off and I’m completely unconvinced of that. They also ha e more money than God, generally speaking, so they do not have to worry about whether or not inflation will force them to make the choice of baby formula or beans and rice to feed themselves or whether they will be able to feed a growing teenager in a few years. It’s not like the workplace is getting any more generous over time.

The point is, I would rather people be mindful, not mindless when it comes to their finances. If you cannot afford to have a child (the cost goes up year over year), I would prefer you have the sense to not have a child. All the optimism in the world won’t pay for diapers, and I hear they are extraordinarily expensive.

As for me and my husband, we love kids, but we will not be having kids. Instead, we will use our time, energy and extra shackles, few though they may be, to make the world a more hospitable place for the next generation. Lord knows the parents don’t have any extra time or energy for that. It takes a village, after all.