I’m an autistic white woman. Generally, I don’t tend to go through life thinking that I’m better than anyone else. Based solely on what I’ve endured/survived in my life, I have barely been tested and I’m still exhausted. Many people endure much more, namely Black women. This is not a self-hating screed or anything. Just an acknowledgment that in very objective ways, there is NO WAY I could handle the day-to-day stress and indignity that I see Black people, women especially, must endure. I am humble to this fact.

It is beyond time for white people to admit, wholeheartedly, that the primary reason we experience better outcomes, financially, health-wise, etc, is BECAUSE WE OWN THE SYSTEM! White men have ruled through evolutionary luck (see Jared Diamond’s Guns, Germs and Steel for reference) and built the playing field to highlight their strengths and hide their weaknesses and then forced us all to play. We were not designed to dominate, and yet domination is what is rewarded, go figure. I request a different set of KPIs, please.

When I go on social media and read about the experiences of Black people, immigrants, disabled people, abuse/trauma survivors, etc, I am forced to realize how much benefit I had living in a society where I was not in one of those groups. Life is so fragile and there is not one iota of time to waste on determining the hierarchy of who is best. White men decided we would be ranked by money and then built systems that prevented the competition from attaining any.

Let’s rethink all of this. There is no objective ranking of who is better than another. There is no reward for domination anymore. Forbes magazine doesn’t matter because the values that actually matter cannot be measured or ranked so easily. They are things like service, creativity and love. How could you say you loved more than another person?

To be authentic is to be full of love for yourself. You are grounded, rooted in the belief that you are enough. To be full of love and connection allows you to unlock your creativity. To be of service means you find creative ways to share that love with others with joy and pleasure. These traits matter way more than money and they cannot be bought; they cannot be corrupted. These are the traits that will bring you the relationships you want, er need, to thrive in this early incarnation and the affirmation of a life well-lived from whatever higher power you hold dear when you pass on to the next realm.