This week has felt particularly rough for some reason. Daily work is a grind. There is so much to do and maybe enough time, but not enough concentration or attention. I just haven’t been able to concentrate consistently. It ebbs and flows. It’s as though my mind has a mind of its own! The other night I logged back in at 10:30 and worked for 3 hours and was completely productive, but the next day was a complete cluster fuck. I’m certain I am not the only one who is regularly experiencing these periodic episodes of dysfunction, but it doesn’t change the looming deadline and feeling of slowly slipping further and further behind schedule.

I haven’t been cooking as much as I would like either. I believe I have mentioned before that I find food preparation to be relaxing, meditative and restorative and I just haven’t found the time. Instead, dear husband has picked up some of the slack and we’ve gone out for semi-fast food at least twice. This simply cannot continue for long.

We also had a positively lovely week, weather wise, and I don’t think I got my hammock nap on once! That is a true tragedy!

Despite being out of sorts with all these time availability/allocation issues, there have also been some bright spots. I attended a Zoom conference where an autistic moderator hosted a panel discussion with four autistic professionals who all work at the same company. Many autistic “celebrities” in attendance, participated in the chat and posed questions to the panelists. I have met some of these people before so it was nice to see and hear from them again. I spent most of the time vacillating between being mildly starstruck (silly, I know) and being truly inspired by the fact that workplaces do exist that are designed to make EVERYONE feel like they belong. The contrast between what was described and what I experience today is like night and day. But there is also so much hope. These people are true leaders (which I think describes every autistic person) and change is afoot. It is coming whether others like it or not. We will not be ignored.

Another exciting development, soon I will be making my “podcast debut,” so to speak. One of my dear readers, a woman I’ve known for a number of years now (we first met at a Bernie Sanders house party in 2016), is an amazing entrepreneur, an inspiration, really. You can check her out at A Wild New Work. Megan is a career coach who also has a blog and a podcast and is building a whole community of like-minded, mostly female (though not necessarily intentionally so) professionals in an online space she has named Cedar Lodge. I really just love and respect everything she is doing with her business, aligning and centering her actions in ways that also help support and grow her community and I look to her for inspiration when I start to feel too stuck in one spot. So when she asked her community to participate in a new concept for a podcast she had, which was recording one of her coaching sessions, I really wanted to help. Of course I would get something out of it as well, but I wasn’t sure what it would be and my real purpose was to be helpful. So I did it. I signed up. We had a Zoom Meeting and it was recorded! I know, I know, people do this all the time on TikTok, but they’re not me. I’m the opposite of an exhibitionist, whatever that is. But I trusted Megan implicitly and she did not let me down. She held space for my ramblings and my sobs and sniffles. I felt very supported. I really haven’t met anyone quite like her. If anyone is in the market for a open, caring, whole-hearted, engaged and supportive coach to help you through a career transition, even if you don’t know your ready for one yet, I cannot recommend Megan enough.

The other bright spot, and be ready for it because this is BREAKING NEWS, is that I signed up to complete an education certificate in Diversity and Inclusion through Cornell University. It’s an all online program, about 40 hours over the course of 2 months with flexible scheduling. My hope is that adding this to my resume will help me find a completely new role, possibly still related to data or metrics, but also related to equity in the workplace, which is my passion. While I don’t think I will be able to get started right away, I feel good about having paid for access and look forward to diving in when the time is right for me and I have the time and energy to dedicate to this important program.

Overall, an emotional week, with highs and lows and that’s all just in my personal/professional life. I didn’t even mention the Chauvin verdict, all the police shootings, the protests, Earth Day, the ongoing pandemic, particularly in India and all the rest. This week was intense.

Please stay rested, hydrated and well cared for, if you can. We’re not quite out of these woods yet. Get vaccinated as soon as you can and stay safe in the meantime. Most of all connect with someone you care about, tell them you love them and have a deep meaningful conversation. Connection with others is what we all need now so reach out if you are feeling low and ask for help. May you feel loved and supported in your life until I write again.